It All Started With Lawyers
by MiaKikuMaru23
Summary: It all started with the topic lawyers. Then, it all ended with the word ‘OBJECT / OBJECTION’. Niou and Marui finally proved that lawyers have their reasons for saying ‘Objection’ all the time.


"**It All Started With Lawyers"**

_{An idea that hit me after talking with my friends. We actually had this conversation before and I just thought of making Niou and Marui talk as well. Anyway, just read and don't forget to review. Thank you to my awesome Beta-reader, 'SC-san' (SilverCyanide). That's all, enjoy and leave a comment!}_

_**Pairings: Trick or Treat Pair (NiouMarui), Alpha Pair (request; supposedly, it was Uke Pair) and any pairing you can think of.**_

**Summary: It all started with the topic lawyers. Then, it all ended with the word 'OBJECT / OBJECTION'. Niou and Marui finally proved that lawyers have their reasons for saying 'Objection' all the time.**

**WARNINGS: Crack and more crack!! I'm hyper and I feel like reading rather than writing. And you will never look at the word 'OBJECT/OBJECTION' the way you used to look at it before.**

**Disclaimer: No PoT is not mine. If it were then I should be rich by now. The word 'OBJECT / OBJECTION' is not mine neither and so is the plot. Real life experience but, I didn't start it.**

* * *

It was a normal day in Rikkaidai. Even the most stubborn and somewhat mischievous students seem pretty stable, for now. Now, let's take a look at the trickster's class. It looks like they are having a brief discussion about politics (why? Because the teacher explained to them that politics was taking over the world! No, I'm kidding). One of the students was betting on when the teacher would crack while some were trying to make the teacher crack. Surprisingly, it wasn't Niou but some random student who just wants to annoy the hell of their teacher. (That or Niou just paid the guy to do his dirty work for him)

"Okay class, we will talk about lawyers." Their teacher was twitching. A lot.

"Objection! This has no connection to our previous lesson what so ever!" one of the students disagreed.

"Hmm, Niou, how long do you think it will be until she cracks?" Marui asked Niou while chewing his gum.

"Few minutes or seconds." Niou rocked his chair back and forth.

"Anyway as I have just said -" The teacher was cut off again.

"Objection!" one of the students yelled out again.

"Objection overruled!" Their teacher finally cracked, as soon as she slammed her hands to the desk, the bell rang. The students finally ran outside and that was the end of classes.

Outside of the classroom, Niou and Marui were chatting when Marui just thought of a most interesting subject.

"Why do lawyers say 'objection' all the time?" Marui asked Niou as they both made their way to tennis practice.

"Hmm, it's probably a habit like when Sanada yells out 'Tarundoru!' every time one of us is doing something wrong and stupid." At that moment, Sanada sneezed in the other end of the building, though the current Marui-Niou conversation continued like nothing happened.

"Objection, objection, objection, objection!" Marui called as he tried to copy the poses from lawyers he had seen on television once.

"Will you quit saying objection!? You're sounding like some retarded lawyer or hobo," Niou informed as he put his hands behind his head.

"But, objection is a cool word! Maybe I should use it as my new catchphrase now," Marui said around the gum he was still chewing.

"If you love it so much, then why don't you spell it, sheesh," Niou just replied with a bored look as he watched while Marui begin to spell.

"Okay, it's O-B-J-E-C--" He was cut by Niou's sudden reaction and twitching.

"Wait, what the hell did you say?!" Niou stared at Marui, incredulous.

"What, you told me to spell objection didn't you? So, I'm spelling it. O-B-J-E-C-", once again, Marui was cut again but this time, by a laughing Niou.

"What did you say?" Niou said, the words barely coming out due to his intense laughter. Marui just looked at him, confused.

"You know, you really are starting to get on my nerves Niou." Marui just stepped back at the laughing boy.

"Well, if you spell it in a mono-tonic way, of course you wouldn't get it. But spell it in a way with emotions and you'll see what I mean," Niou finally explained and stopped laughing his brains out.

"Hmm? I still don't get you. Look, O-B-J-E-C-T-I-O-N. Objection. There." Marui still looked confused.

"Here, let me spell it for you with emotions. O," here Niou paused to insert a rather suggestive moan –"BJ" – he moaned again for emphasis –"EC-T-I-O-N." Marui's reaction was priceless.

"What?!" Marui just twitched. (note: Turn back if your still innocent!)

"Heh, it would be better if it was just 'object' though," Niou said.

"Yeah, I guess now the reason why lawyers scream out objection all the time is that too." Marui finally calmed himself.

Suddenly, Niou had the most interesting idea for a prank on the regulars.

"Marui, say we play a little joke on the rest?" Niou was now smirking his trademark trickster smirk.

"Hmm, you mean that?" Now even Marui was smirking. Marui grabbed a pen from Niou's polo pocket and scribbled something on a crinkled piece of paper he had had hastily pulled out of his pocket: It was their 'Prank List'. They turned the corner and both headed towards the clubroom, seeing the rest of the regulars waiting for them.

As the two were walking and chatting about their "so-called-plan" they were to preoccupied to notice that they were in the clubroom already. It was a good thing that everyone else was minding their own business or else, they would have been busted.

Now that Niou and Marui had arrived, the regulars gathered inside. Sanada seemed to be in a good mood today – just about in as good a mood as Niou was for a prank. Unfortunately for Sanada, he was the first regular on Niou and Marui's 'Prank List'.

**~#1.) Sanada Genichiroh**

"Sanada-fuku buchou, can I talk to you about something?" Niou asked, sounding dead serious – something that alarmed the fuku buchou. The last time Niou had been this serious was when he had a match against Yukimura. He felt that his stomach was turning upside down.

Sanada nodded shortly "Just make it quick." He crossed his arms in order to let Niou do the talking.

"Have you ever considered applying for law school?" Niou asked him; Marui was eavesdropping by pretending that he had forgotten something in his locker.

"Niou, what kind of stupid question is that? If you are done, I will take my leave.", Sanada seemed annoyed now if you would ask him. His 'once-in-a-life-time-perfect-day' has been officially (and abruptly) ruined by a stupid question. Of course, it wasn't over for the trickster yet.

"So, you 'object'? Well, you can at least spell the word 'object' before you leave." Niou was grinning. Sanada didn't like the smug look in his face. Near the lockers, Marui was laughing while covering his face with the door of his locker.

"Hmm, very well O-B-J-E-C-T—". Sanada was cut by constant laughing heard from the trickster and red-headed tensai. Sanada shot the two a death glare. He was starting to regret the conversation he was having; especially with the resident renowned trickster, Niou.

"Must. Keep. Myself. Calm. Can't. Breath," Marui managed to get out though he was crying in laughter.

"Sanada-san, you pervert." Niou just smirked on Sanada's reaction. Then he explained everything (by whispering); Sanada had an indefinable expression. He was twitching, angry, embarrassed, and shocked. In his mind all that he could manage to process was the though'I will make Niou run until he dies.'

"Ta-tarundoru! You get to practice now!" Sanada was obviously affected. His reaction was priceless as well. Luckily Marui had brought his video camera, and it had been it his locker; he got the tape. How did he manage to get that inside of the school premises is still a mystery. Let's just say, Niou is somehow involve in all of this.

**~#2.) Yagyuu Hiroshi**

"Hey, Yagyuu,." Niou called his doubles partner over wearing his 'I'm-planning-something-so-guess-what?' face. Yagyuu, being his doubles partner, expected the worst.

"What is it this time?" Yagyuu asked, going into his 'Sharp Observations' mode.

"Oh, nothing. I just want to ask you something." Niou was grinning. Not a good sign. Yagyuu glanced over at their fuku buchou who was now twitching, completely unlike himself.

"If your question is regarding why Sanada-kun is like that, I'm afraid I can't answer it.", Yagyuu turned his gaze to the Trickster. Marui was eavesdropping (again) and this time, he had brought his video camera outside the locker and along with him..

"No, it's not that. Have you considered going to law school?" Niou was smirking now.

"Not in particular. In any case, I don't think I'm fit for the position anyway. But don't tell me you're planning to…?" Yagyuu seemed surprised but maintained his posture.

"I was just curious. Lawyers say objection all the time. Marui and I had a fight about it. I kept on telling him that lawyers only shout 'objection' while Marui says that it can be 'object' as well," Niou explained, using a completely false story as justification for what was about to occur.

"Uh-huh." Yagyuu signaled Niou to continue.

"So, we made I bet, which I lost. Anyway, can you spell 'object' for me?" Niou was still smirking. Meanwhile, Marui just thought _'Wait, does that even make sense? I still don't see the connection.' _He maybe a genius but, noone is more of a master in psychological than Niou.

"Sure. It's O-B-J-E-C-T-" Finally, Marui broke down into laughter while Niou continued smirking at his double's partner – not his usual smile, but one much more smug and much less devilish, more closely resembling that of Hyoutei's Oshitari.

"Yagyuu, I never thought you were such a pervert." Niou slung his arm over his partner's shoulder and his smirk grew wider at Yagyuu's expression.

Deciding that he didn't need to keep the joke from the boy any longer, he whispered itin to Yagyuu's ear. There was silence. More silence. Dead silence. Except from a small giggle from Marui and a snort from Niou, silence. Yagyuu just let the information sink in while barely maintaining his posture. He was now staring blankly at the empty court in front of him. Surely, Yagyuu is going to think twice before consulting with his partner about trivial matters again.

"I'll see you later Yagyuu." Niou shot Marui a thumbs-up and headed towards their next target while Yagyuu stood there, still dumbfounded.

**~#3.) Jackal Kuwabara**

"Jackal, can I ask you something?" Marui asked his doubles partner. This time, it was Marui's turn to have fun and Niou's turn to record the events.

"Uh, sure." Jackal gave a soft smile. Marui _almost_ felt guilty, until he suddenly remembered that Jackal owed him 50 bucks. Well, this was one way of making Jackal pay-up.

"I was wondering, how do you spell 'object' since Niou and I had a debate over it." Marui asked as calmly as he could to avoid getting caught.

"Uh, I can spell it for you if you want," Jackal told him, suddenly feeling as if someone was watching him.

"Great!" Marui tried his best not to laugh.

"It's O-B-J-E-C-T-" Jackal was cut off by loud laughter from both Marui and Niou.

"Oh God! Can't…breath," Marui replied, choking as he laughed.

"Um, Marui, are you all right?" Now, it was Jackal's turn to look confused.

"Heh, Marui, you should tell him." Niou suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Yeah, it's basically-" After a long explanation from Marui, complete with hand gestures and sound effects, Jackal sat there twitching and stared blankly at the wall. Niou made sure to take a picture of the horror on Jackal's face, and saved it just as they had done earlier.

**~#4.) Yanagi Renji**

Renji just stared at the fuku buchou, who was mumbling something which he couldn't quite hear. Then he glanced at the gentleman, who was staring at the empty court in front of him; he figured that Yagyuu must have fainted due to something-or-other while sitting again, because that would definitely explain his situation. Then he looked over at Jackal, who was twitching and staring at the wall. Really now. What has gotten to those guys?

"Oh, Yanagi. I was looking for you. Mind if we talk for a bit?" Niou was grinning again. The devil must be on it's way to kill … err drag someone down.

"There is a 85 percent chance that you are behind this," Yanagi replied while writing something down in his notebook and pointing at a frozen Yagyuu.

"So, it's a yes?" Niou's grin got wider while Marui found a good position for the shot.

"Hmm, well if you explain to me what you did to make Genichiroh blush like that and Yagyuu to become a human statue..." Yanagi was now paying attention to Niou.

"Well, it all started with lawyers. Then with the word object." Niou smirked now; Yanagi was going to regret this conversation.

"You'll know if you spell the word object," Niou said, the gleam in his eyes taunting him.

"Hmm, okay. I believe it's O-B-J-E-C-T-" Again, Niou and Marui's laughter followed the spelling.

Yanagi was too confused to even respond.

Niou quickly explained the joke Yanagi, hoping to make Marui stop laughing insanely.

Yanagi was still staring at Niou in disbelief.

"Well, see you!" Marui called, before a click was heard and he took a picture of Yanagi's disbelieving look.

Meanwhile, Yanagi was doing some calculations in his head. 'I knew it, hewais up to something, but why didn't I figure it out?' he kept on repeating like a mantra in his head. Meanwhile the two mischief makers were taking a quick break and flipping through the shots on the camera.

Then the break was over and the chaos was to ensue once more.

**~#5.) Yukimura Seiichi**

"Yukimura-san, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Marui's turn to do the honors.

Sanada heard Marui and immediately protested.

"Marui! Tarundoru!" He would not let his precious Yukimura end up like Yagyuu or the others. After all, he always thought of Yukimura as a small, innocent child; luckily, he was _so _wrong.

"Hmm, why is that Genichiroh?" Yukimura gave his 'I-want-to-know-so-don't-interfere' smile which made Sanada be quiet.

"So, as I was saying, do you mind if you tried spelling 'object'?" Marui was grinning while Yukimura just smiled

"Hmm, so? I think it is 'O" – there was a rather suggestive moan on Yukimura's part – "BJ" – and another – "EC-T-I-O-N." Sanada's jaw dropped, the rest of the people who heard it (besides Marui, Niou, and Akaya) fainted. Marui twitched while Niou laughed hard.

"Sanada, you really think I'm that naïve? I know what you're thinking and I assure you that you can blame the American shows that my parents used to watch." Sanada was still deep in thought, pondering this information. Suddenly, Akaya came over, curious.

**~#6.) Kirihara Akaya**

"Why is Niou-senpai laughing his brains out?" Akaya asked Yukimura with an innocent look on his face.

"Well, it's …" As Marui tried to explain Sanada saw Yukimura's 'Sanada-he-is-still-innocent-so-make-Marui-stop' face and immediately, Sanada stopped Marui and Yukimura smiled.

"Brattling, spell 'object'." Niou was wearing his usual smirk. Yagyuu finally woke up and went to stop Akaya from the horror; Jackal was mumbling something under his breath and was starting to act strangely like that Shinji guy from Fudoumine; Marui saw the opportunity to video the whole scene while the rest was distracted. Niou, on the other hand was explaining the joke to Akaya as best as possible, because Yagyuu was trying to stop him and save Akaya by covering his ears. Unfortunately, (or luckily, depending on who you are) the only word that Kirihara heard was …

"Ne, Mura-buchou, what's a 'BJ'?" Akaya was looking at Yukimura with innocent eyes.

"Sorry, but I can't tell you; Genichiroh and I still have to _do_ it before I can." Yukimura just smiled and walked away, dragging along with a speechless Sanada and leaving behind the rest of the stunned team.

"So, BJ means to talk with a captain? That's what everyone is acting crazy all about?" Akaya pouted out of disappointment and left the room. Niou and Marui laughed, Jackal face palmed, Yagyuu adjusted his glasses while Yanagi wrote down some stuff in his formidable notebook.

"The two of you - _never _start another topic involving lawyers again." Yagyuu said while he and Yanagi looked at the laughing boys, who nodded. Sanada alone was scary enough, but Yanagi and Yagyuu joined forces? That's twice as scary as Sanada slapping poor innocent freshmen. So the two agreed never to start another topic involving lawyers again while Jackal, being the only semi-sane one, used the rest of club practice time to go schedule therapy sessions. Yukimura, on the other hand, wasn't seen until the end of the day along with Sanada, and even then the only ones who had seen them were Akaya and Yanagi.

So really, all in all, it was just another perfectly normal day at Rikkai. If you skip the whole lawyer jokes and incident I mean.

_**~OWARI~**_

**~OMAKE~**

"Akaya, what are you doing? Dinner is ready," Akaya's mom called to her son.

"Uh, coming mom, I was just BJ-ing with buchou." Akaya grinned as his mother's eyes grew big, before she and Akaya's father ended up dealing out a series of scoldings and punishments – and Akaya didn't even know what he'd done!

**~MEANWHILE~**

"Okay Fuji, you get 30 percent of the profits were going to get," Marui told him and pouted. He knew he could never win against a sadistic tensai such as Fuji.

"Maa, so it's settled. I'll try to make as many copies as possible. But of course, you guys get to keep the originals," Fuji agreed, sealing the deal between him, Niou, and Marui.

--

Jackal, on the other hand, had just finished his therapy session for today. During the session, his therapist suggested, after all of the bizarre things Jackal had explained, that Jackal transfers to a much more sane school.

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_{Well, that's it!! Hope you enjoy and give a review. Constructive Criticism is highly appreciated. Thanks again to my beta, SC-san (formerly known as KA-san). PM me if you guys want a sequel. BTW, gomen ne to everyone who is waiting for the updates on "Expect the Unexpected". I currently am sick and school is getting the best of me lately. ~Miaki}_


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